Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal