Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
