ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
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