So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.