I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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