I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
