he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
