9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
