this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
he fucked my hip out of place.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
