We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
