Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize