she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
