I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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