My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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