Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize