I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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