I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
