is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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