apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
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I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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