I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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