what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?