wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!