fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.