Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
