just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Just puked most of my soul out..
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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