This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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