what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
