I heard we made out
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
