I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
