Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
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