Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
so let's talk penis.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Randomize
