Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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