Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
