if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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