I think scott just propositioned me for sex
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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