there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
