I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
