In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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