I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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