so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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