I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize