It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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