dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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