My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
