Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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