So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Randomize
