4 words: hood of his car
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
