I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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