I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
