Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
