I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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