theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
