im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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