My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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