While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
