I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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