She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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