I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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