im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
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How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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