you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
