the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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