Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
