I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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