would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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