i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
