I'm going to jail i love you
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
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Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I fill condoms, not promises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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